


say you'll love me forever

by t_hens



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: 2009 Phan, Co-Written, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-25
Updated: 2019-08-25
Packaged: 2020-09-26 17:42:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,316
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20393620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/t_hens/pseuds/t_hens
Summary: the first 'I love you'written for the Phanfictionevents: Phanfic Telephone event





	say you'll love me forever

**Author's Note:**

> I am spot three in the fic, spot one is written by @sartysarty and spot two is written by @tortitabby  
each spot is marked to avoid confusion  
my section has not been beta'd

**Section 1**  
December 13, 2009

Dan Howell, sitting about an inch shorter than the lanky Phil Lester, bites his lip nervously as he glances over at his raven-haired, blue-eyed friend. Phil, who is playing Sonic on the PS2, has no idea of the butterflies rumbling in Dan’s stomach. 

Just do it, Dan thinks as he works up the courage. It’s not a big deal. It’s three words. He already knows it, anyway. Just say it out loud. 

Three months earlier

“I have an idea,” Phil said as the old grandfather clock downstairs struck 3 am, “why don’t you book a ticket and come stay with me for a few days!” 

Over Skype, Phil could see Dan blush. He found Dan’s blushing adorable, but did not mention it as he did not want to embarrass his younger friend. 

“Um, well, yeah,” Dan began, stammering, “I mean, I’d really like that!” 

“Do you think your parents would be alright with it?” Phil asked, cautiously. There had been stories on the BBC of people getting hurt and going missing after meeting strangers from the internet. 

“Yeah, I mean, they don’t care what I do, basically,” Dan said. “I just don’t know if I can afford a ticket.”

“I’ll wire you the money for the train ticket, that’s no worries!” Phil said, smiling. 

“Really?!” Dan gushed. “That would be great as I can’t really afford it at the moment.”

“Of course!” Phil said, “Ah, I’m so excited! We’ll finally get to meet! Rawr!”

“Yeah!” Dan said, beaming, “I’m going to start packing after I sleep for 20 hours straight.”

“I guess we should go to sleep,” Phil agreed. 

“You sign off first,” Dan said.

Phil rolled his eyes while grinning broadly. “Alright, good night, Daniel.”

“Good night, Philip.”

Phil closed his laptop and smiled. He couldn’t believe it. His cute new friend was actually going to be sitting right here next to him soon. 

Hundreds of miles away, Dan closed his laptop and crawled into bed, smiling stupidly. He was actually going to meet “Amazing Phil”! Of course, he had found out that Phil was more than just the exaggerated character he presented himself as in his videos. Phil himself was a bit more quiet and introspective, imaginative and so creative. And handsome. The blue light from the laptop really accentuated his Adam’s apple and square shoulders, and made him look a bit more masculine than he did in his videos. 

Dan liked that. Actually, he liked it very much, though he wasn’t quite sure why. As he drifted off to sleep, he imagined what that first hug would be like. What would they say to each other at the train station? Would he even be able to form a sentence? What would he wear? What gift should he bring? Dan fell into a deep sleep, a small grin on his face.

October 19, 2009

As the train approached the station, Dan worried that he might be sick. His stomach was in knots and his speech, written, memorized and rehearsed for two weeks, was quickly leaving his mind. 

It wasn’t hard to spot Phil on the platform, as he towered above nearly everyone else. Phil ran clumsily up to Dan and wrapped him in a bear hug, forcing Dan to take a step back to keep his balance. 

“Hi, Phil!” Dan laughed, his speech long since gone from his mind.

“Hey, Dan!” Phil said, pulling away and dropping his backpack to the station floor. “I brought you something!”

As Phil crouched down and dug through his backpack, Dan took a deep breath and tried to calm his nerves. Phil was actually there, right in front of him--or kind of below him--in the flesh! And he smelled so good! He could still feel the warmth of Phil’s body from the hug. 

Phil suddenly stood up and held out a small plush Lion. Dan smiled broadly and took it. “Aww, thanks, Phil!” he said and held it close. “I love it! I’ve brought you something as well!”

Dan fumbled with his backpack and pulled out a bag of Maltesers. 

Phil laughed. “Are you sure you brought that for me?” he said with raised eyebrows. 

“Ha! Yeah, I almost ate them on the train, but I saved them for you.” 

“Thank you, Dan!” Phil said, “I was thinking we could head to the sky mall and grab a coffee?”

“Yeah, that would be great!” Dan replied as he swung his backpack around his shoulder and started to head off the platform. 

Phil led him to the coffee shop and they talked for hours, laughing nervously and letting their eyes dart away after making eye contact for longer than they intended. Finally, when the manager cleared his throat for the third time and gave them a look, Phil suggested they leave and ride the ferris wheel.

“I thought you were afraid of heights,” Dan said, gathering his things and stretching his legs as he stood up from the cramped seat.

“Yeah, but not so much that I can’t ride,” Phil said quickly and in an uncharacteristically nervous tone. 

“Okay, yeah, let’s do it!” Dan said. 

As they climbed onto the ride and sat down, Dan started to rock the seat forwards and backwards and Phil yelped. “Dan! No!” 

Dan laughed and settled into his seat, “Okay, I’m sorry!” he giggled. “I won’t do it again, I promise.”

“You’d better not!” Phil threatened, though he was smiling now. 

The ride started up and they began to slowly ascend into the starry night sky. 

“Wow,” Dan said, looking around, “this is gorgeous!”

“Yeah,” Phil said, “it really is. If you look over that way, that’s where my house is.”

“Cool!” Dan said, looking where Phil was pointing. 

An awkward silence suddenly fell between them as Dan found himself staring not at the scenery, but at the shadowed outline of his new friend beside him. 

He swallowed hard. The feeling was very new to him. Everything in the universe seemed to be pulling him forward towards Phil, and willingly, he let it. 

Phil’s eyes widened a bit, but he did not lean away.

Dan kept his hands in his lap as he leaned in and took Phil’s warm bottom lip between his own. He closed his eyes and tasted the coffee laced sweet and salty softness. He dared not breathe. He dared not move. His heart was racing and his hands were trembling, but for once in his life, he felt something he had never felt before. He was home.

Phil’s stomach did a backflip and his heart fluttered. 

And the ferris wheel went round and round. 

(End of Part One.)

**Section 2**

Talking to Phil was as easy as breathing. It somehow became easier after they met and the short couple of days they had together, filled with stolen kisses and shaking hands, flew by past as Dan was powerless to slow time.  
“It’s just until Halloween.” Phil had said with a teary smile of his own as they said goodbye at the train station.  
Dan tried to keep telling himself that as he plopped back onto his bed in Wokingham alone and aching to be staring into the bright blue eyes that were imprinted in the back of his eyelids.  
The next couple of weeks were the slowest Dan could remember. Grainy webcams and skype calls weren’t enough and the only thing keeping Dan sane was knowing Phil was feeling just as antsy as he was.

October 31st, 2009

Dan didn’t know how it could simultaneously feel surreal and more natural than anything else in his life to be back at Phil’s side.  
London was massive and being back with Phil in such a large city and being a part of a youtube gathering was all a bit more than Dan could wrap his head around.  
“Hold still.” Dan huffed a laugh while he found himself drawing cat whiskers onto Phil’s face for the second time since they had met.  
He leaned back and Phil beamed at him. “How does it look?”  
Dan felt warmth color his cheeks. He was so gone for Phil. “Good. Really good.”  
“Wow cocky, much?” Phil laughed and clumsily snatched the marker from Dan, missing how flustered Dan was completely. “You need some dots. Some cute bear dots.”  
Dan stared unblinkingly at Phil. His tongue was stuck out the corner of his mouth and his brow was furrowed in concentration.  
“There!” He glanced around the empty room they were in and quickly pecked a kiss to Dan’s lips.  
“We should go join the others, don’t you think?”  
Dan begrudgingly agreed and stuck by Phil’s side. It was pleasantly surprising meeting the other youtubers. They were for the most part welcoming and friendly and many extended words of wisdom and offers of help if Dan ever needed it.  
It felt nice, feeling like he was one of the group, discussing his videos and editing and all of the things he used to daydream of doing before he gathered the courage to put his own videos up on youtube.  
“Hey,” Phil tugged on Dan’s sleeve and pulled him away from the crowd.  
“Let’s grab something to eat and go sit over by the fountains.” He paused before a frown settled deep on his face. “Sorry- you’re clearly enjoying yourself I just missed you and wish we were alone.”  
Dan felt the same feeling of home that he had on the wheel in Manchester. It made him nearly dizzy with the sense of right he felt. He never felt so compatible with another person before in is life. He felt the way he mocked people for droning on and on about, the way people raved about ridiculous things like soulmates felt. He wanted to tell Phil, hell he wanted to shout it in the streets and pass out flyers so everybody got the memo.  
“I’m starved. Food sounds great,” tumbled out of his mouth instead.  
“There’s so much to pick from. I used to think London was kind of scary but it’s not so with- tonight.” Phil said, totally oblivious to Dan’s turmoil.  
Dan nodded and glanced around the bustling city. It was world’s away from Wokingham. Not that that was a bad thing.  
“I kind of like it. I could see me living in London someday.”  
“Hmm, no I think Manchester would suit you more.” Phil said with a knowing smile.  
Dan rolled his eyes. His cheeks hurt from how widely he was smiling. “Whatever… let’s go look at our dinner options.” 

Dan stretched his legs out on the concrete bench and groaned. “I feel like a bloated whale. That was way too much grease I don’t think I can ever move again.”  
Phil stared at him for a beat before mimicking a mournful whale call. Dan burst into laughter, his full belly aching with the force of it.  
He moved his hand over until his fingers were slightly overlapping Phil’s.  
With a rush of clarity and somber acceptance he realized he loved that man.  
Phil collapsed nearly on top of Dan and let out another whale moan, grinning ear to ear the entire time. He was an odd man, his Phil.  
Dan joined him shortly after until neither of them could make the noise through their laughter.  
He looked over at Phil who was already staring at him with those multi colored eyes that made Dan weak. He could tell him. He should, really. Dan knew it was love.  
Phil gave Dan’s hand a quick squeeze. “Shall we rejoin the others?” He asked.  
Dan didn’t trust his mouth to work the way he wanted and instead silently helped Phil to his feet. He squeezed Phil’s hand back. He wasn’t going anywhere. There wasn’t a huge rush. 

(End of Part Two this is nerve wracking Hi Third Person!!)

**Section 3**

The rest of the night went by in a blur. There were so many people who demanded their attention, and though Dan didn’t spend nearly enough time with Phil, he did leave with a sense of pride that he was a part of a community of talented and creative people. He left feeling like he was really apart of something.

A friend of Phil’s had offered to let them crash on his fold out couch for the night. It was cramped and was definitely not meant to hold two grown men over six feet, but Dan couldn’t pretend that he minded. He didn’t get much sleep that night, but he got to feel Phil’s body pressed against his and hear the way Phil snored a little when he slept on his back. It wasn’t maybe how he had thought the night might end, but he’d had much worse nights.

-

Dan only got to stay one night at Phil’s house before he boarded a Train back to Wokingham. He logically knew that he would be seeing Phil soon - they had visits mapped out for the new two months, but it was still hard to speed away from the person that held Dan’s entire heart. He felt like he was leaving a part of himself behind.

Home sucked, but Dan wasn’t really surprised by that. The days until he could see Phil drug by. Listening to his parents argue and his brother whine were the soundtrack for the days leading up until going back to Phil’s. His parents had thrown quite the fit when he told them he was visiting Phil in December, (“That’s too close to Christmas, where is your sense of family?” his mother had harped at him, though it didn’t stop him from buying the tickets anyway).

The train ride seemed to take forever, like it always did when he was in a hurry. Phil was waiting for him on the platform, black hair in a birds nest from the wind, but Dan didn’t think he’d ever looked better. They hugged, but it didn’t linger like Dan would have liked, both far too aware of the looks they got sometimes when they stood too close in public. Neither wanted anything to burst the bubble they were in, so they waited until they were at Phil’s house before showing affection like they wanted.

Phil’s parents were home this visit, so they weren’t able to start making out, which Dan would have loved, but he couldn’t deny that he enjoyed spending time with Phil’s family. They felt like a real family and any time Dan got to spend time with them, they always made sure to make Dan feel like he was included.

-

It was nearly four hours later by the time they were able to be alone in Phil’s room. Kath had insisted on making them lunch and then had them help her move the Christmas decorations down from the attic. Dan was sore and tired when they finally entered Phil’s room and he flopped down on Phil’s bed, letting out a loud sigh.

“Your mom is trying to kill me, I’m sure of it.” He whined, staring up at the plastic glow in the dark stars on Phil’s ceiling.

“She just likes you, that’s why she never leaves you alone.”

The words injected warmth into Dan’s veins but he didn’t get much time to bask in it before Phil was flopping down on top of him, making him grunt at the added weight.

“You’re crushing meee,” Dan laughed, unable to stop the giggles as Phil poked his fingers into his ribs.

“You love it though,” Phil replied, fingers still relentlessly digging into Dan’s side.

Dan almost did something stupid, like saying ‘I love you,’ but he narrowly avoided it, making a dumb ‘your mum’ joke instead. 

Phil kissed him, and Dan let himself sink into it a bit, always eager to have Phil’s lips on his. They laid there for long enough that Dan could feel that they were both hard, and he moved his hand and started towards Phil, but he heard a _thunk_ downstairs, likely from Kath dropping a pan, and it made Dan halt in his tracks. 

“Maybe we should wait,” Phil sighed, picking up on Dan’s hesitance. 

Dan wanted to disagree and bring Phil’s mouth back to his, but he nodded. He had built a good relationship with Phil’s parents and he didn’t want it ruined just because he couldn’t keep in his pants.

“Let’s play Sonic,” Phil offered, removing his weight off of Dan and moved to sit down in front of the tv. Dan wanted to throw this arms and complain but he took a deep breath, willed his boner to go away, and sat up to join Phil.

-

Phil was much better at Sonic than Dan was, so he spent most of their time sitting there just watching him play. He always got the cutest frown and crease on his forehead when he was concentrating and it made Dan feel almost giddy. This wasn’t a part of Phil that many other people got to see. Dan was privy to information about Phil that almost no other people were and it made him feel special, like what they had was just as important to Phil as it was to him.

“Damn it!” Phil died and bit into the controller, making Dan giggle. “What!?” Phil demanded, a smile pulling at his lips.

“You’re just cute is all,” Dan said, cheeks flushed.

“I’m not cute, I’m a manly man!” Phil flexed his arm and it made Dan giggle more, so Phil tackled him on to the floor.

“See how strong I am?” Phil said, laying his whole body weight on to Dan’s.

“God, you’re such a dork,” Dan giggled. “I love you so much.”

The words were out of his mouth before he could stop himself, and he sucked in a shocked breath, eyes widening. Phil’s mouth was open wide in surprise and Dan felt his pulse kick up. He started to speak, not sure if he was going to apologize or say something else that would dig his hole any deeper, but Phil pressed their lips together and kissed him like his life depended on it.

“Fuck Dan. I love you too.” The words were a little hard to understand as Phil did not stop kissing him in order to say the words, but Dan understood. 

He wanted to sob, big fat tears of happiness, and he could feel small tears streaming from his face, but he didn’t try to stop them, just let them show just how much the words meant to him. He’d spent his entire life searching for the love that he felt when he was with Phil and it all seemed a little too good to be true that he’d found it somehow. 

“I love you,” Phil murmured, again and again as he kissed every square inch of Dan’s face that he could reach, even the tears that were still coming. Each time the words were spoken, they sank a little further into Dan’s skin, until he felt like he was made of Phil’s love for him.

“Thank you,” he choked out after a minute or two, voice hoarse with emotion.

“You don't have to thank me,” Phil said gently, finally pulling away from Dan. He didn’t move far away though, thankfully, he just hovered above Dan and gave him a gentle smile.

“I know I don’t,” Dan said, finally wiping the tears from his face. “I’m just happy.”

Phil nodded and pressed a light kiss to Dan’s nose.

“I am too.” 

They kissed a bit more until Kath yelled for them to come help her set the table for dinner and they were forced to break apart.

Phil stood and helped Dan up, keeping their hands entwined as he led Dan downstairs.

“I love you,” Phil said once more as they started down the stairs.

Dan smiled and let the words soak into his skin. “I love you too.”


End file.
